If you've read my blog on my store page from Monday, you know my store flooded in the first round of storms that came through. I was in here hunkered down while tornados ripped up everything around Springfield -- like they always do, never really coming close to downtown. I'd sandbagged the back door of the store, which is what we have to do in heavy rains because of how far below street level the back of the store is, the inadequacy of the drains, and the fact that everything back there seems to be constructed to dump water and debris directly into my stairwell. Well, the rains came up so fast and hard at about 7:30 that the stairwell got about 18" of water in it, which is far higher than we have ever had to sandbag before. It gushed in around the door and flowed through to the front door. No damage, luckily, but definitely a pain in the ass.
Thinking things were pretty much over for the night (once I squeegied water out the front door for a half an hour, leaving solitary puddles to mop up), I headed to the Kum & Go. Second shift had endured a short power outage and dealt with some water of their own, but things were under control when I got there. I figured the shift would proceed as normal, since usually these kinds of storms kick up in the evening, tear shit up for a while, and then move on up I-44.
About 2:30am I was counting down the registers and doing shift change. There were a couple of police cars in the lot, three paramedics in the store, and one customer. Two girls came in out of the rain (which had just suddenly kicked up), totally drunk and saying they'd walked from Ziggies because one of the girls refused to let the other girl accept a ride from a creepy stranger, and they didn't want to get a cab. They proceeded to make complete idiots of themselves for about fifteen minutes before finally heading down National. On foot, because by then the rain had stopped.
Evidently that was the calm you always hear about right before a tornado hits.
We were there at the counter laughing about the girls when the rain suddenly kicked up again. Hard. Winds, too, to the point that the rain was going almost horizontal.
Then it went something like this:
"Oh, man, those girls are going to be sorry they didn't get a cab." ::wind starts blowing doors open, can barely see through the rain:: "Um..." ::everyone backs away from doors:: "Guys, I think maybe we should..." ::80 mph winds slam both doors open, debris appears out of nowhere, definite feeling the windows were about to shatter:: "AAAAAAHHH!!!" ::everyone runs for the back room::
Okay, nobody actually screamed, but we ran like hell. Everybody but one of the EMTs, who was in the bathroom convinced he was about to die a very undignified death while peeing.
I don't know if it's been confirmed, but whether or not it actually touched down I'm pretty sure it was a tornado that demolished Harry Cooper Supply, skimmed over the Kum & Go (luckily), and then hit the AT&T building, whatever other warehouse it tore down, and the Krispy Kreme. I know the only reason we didn't lose all our windows was that the doors open either way on both sides of the lobby, so the wind just threw them open and the pressure didn't build up enough. We lost power for about five minutes, the EMT who was just getting off duty had her car window smashed by a flying trash can, we lost most of the panels from our sign, a bunch of the metal face plates on the gas pumps were torn down as well as one of the endcaps, and a crapload of insulation and wood from Harry Cooper ended up in our parking lot.
I took those with my cell phone, and they really don't adequately capture the scene, but whatever.
The good thing was, though, that I had an ambulance crew and a half there with me, so if anything had happened I wouldn't have had to wait for a dispatch.
So, you know, I was really glad when my shift ended. I was exhausted by the time I fell into bed.
Then yesterday (and here comes the big rant -- I thought maybe if i let it stew overnight I'd be less pissed off, but no) I go to my store only to be ambushed by my mother over wanting to see Neurosonic in Oklahoma City in March.
See, a few months back I ordered a K&G polar fleece to wear at work. Well, actually, I mistakenly ordered two, and couldn't return the extra. I was going to post it on eBay or something, but my mom volunteered to buy it instead and rip out the logo stitching, since they really are very nice jackets -- thus the $55 price tag. She wrote me a check. I thought I deposited it right away, but evidently I forgot about it because she called my Sunday night saying that it hadn't cleared her bank yet. I found the check still sitting in my purse and, Monday afternoon, told her that I had located it and would deposit it. She said, "There, now you have an extra $55." And me, like an idiot, said, "Yeah, I can use it towards those Neurosonic tickets."
After 32 years in this family, you'd think I'd know better.
See, I've had to borrow quite a bit of money from my parents to get Fashioned By Jaye running. I still borrow just a little here and there to fill the gaps. I don't get much money for myself. The only reason I was able to buy Kourt a Christmas gift, dye my hair, and go out for New Years (the subject, of course, of another of mom's little financial lectures) was that Kourt's parents sent me a monetary gift for Christmas. I mooch food off mom and dad on a regular basis, and otherwise I mostly eat Kum & Go food that I don't have to pay for. We've eaten out recently only because, again, Kourt's parents sent us restaurant gift cards. They bought us Guitar Hero III as well, or else we still wouldn't have it. I buy gas and cigarettes, food and litter for the cats, household necessities, and occasionally fast food or snacks at the Kum & Go when I feel like I've got the five bucks to spare. Other than my work uniform and the stuff I got for Christmas (thanks to Kourt's parents sending a gift card), I haven't bought clothes in probably a year. Haven't made an iTunes purchase of over a dollar in at least six months. Honestly? I didn't even buy Neurosonic's album. I got it from Lindsay. Every concert I've seen in the last couple of years -- a grand total of 2, mind you -- were on either Kourt's dime or her parents'. If it weren't for Kourt's parents, I wouldn't really have much in the way of non-necessities, and Kourt can attest to the fact that I really don't like accepting so much stuff from them. Really, the vast majority of my money funnels right into the store.
But evidently I don't know anything about making sacrifices or setting priorities or any of that. I'm not entitled to occasionally do something I really want to do, even if it's not expensive, unless Mom approves, because she basically owns me. And, of course, there's no way in the world she would understand why going to a concert might be something I really want to do.
I'm 32 fucking years old! What the hell?!?!
And the money I've borrowed is a loan. A loan. Like, we have a contract and an amortization schedule and the whole nine yards. No bank would be able to swoop in and tell me I couldn't buy tickets or spend gas money to see a concert. It's not like I wanted to be indebted to my parents like this, and it's not like I'm not trying like hell to get to the point where I'm not under their financial thumb. And I know that if I was this gung-ho about going to see some gospel quartet in concert, she'd just buy me the tickets and give me the gas money, because that's an entirely noble thing to want to do. Rock concert? In a bar? Nope, can't possibly be worthwhile.
I know I pissed her off pretty royally, too, though, because the last thing I said after a twenty-minute yelling match was, "You know now that you've brought it up and we've argued about it, even if Kourt bought them or somehow I got the tickets for free, you'd never believe me that I didn't just go buy them myself, which is exactly why your kids don't tell you things!" Which, yes, was a teensy bit meaner than I usually get when arguing with her, but also very true. And no matter what happens, I'm sure we'll have this fight all over again in March, 'cause there's no way in hell I'm not going.
I don't know why I didn't just do the smart thing Monday afternoon and say, "Yeah, that's $55 you won't have to lend me this month," buy the tickets anyway, and then make up a story to tell her in March about getting them for free or really cheap or somebody else buying them.
God, it's like being in junior high and high school all over again. Back then I chalked it up to me hitting puberty at the same time she hit menopause (oh what fun it is to have parents old enough to be your grandparents), but really I think she's just like that. Encouraging and supportive right up until you make a choice she wouldn't make if she were in your shoes, at which point she steps in to make you conform to her way of thinking. I told her that, too. She ought to still be nice and pissed off when I come into the store tonight.
It's not like I don't appreciate the fact that they work in the store with no pay so that I can work a second job, because without that help I'd have been totally screwed a long time ago, due to quite a few circumstances I had no way to forsee (it's not like I didn't spend extensive time writing a 60 page business plan or anything). But most of the time I don't even feel like I have control of my own business anymore. Not to be discriminatory, but a 70-year-old couple would not be my first choice for employees, from the standpoint of the store's image. She shares way more of my life story with customers than I'm comfortable with, and feels way more entitled to making off-hand decisions about the business than any real employee would. But I don't have to pay my parents, so that's what I'm stuck with.
I guess on the positive side, she does clean like there's no tomorrow and I know she's not stealing from me.
Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that dealing with the stress of working a full five days at the Kum & Go (life really got a ton easier when I dropped down to four nights a week) is better than the stress of being financially shackled to my mother, so I'm putting myself back on the "work myself to an early grave" track. The less free time I have, the less excuse I have to deal with my mom. So there's two bonuses.
Maybe with the raise I'm getting, I can get her off my back totally.
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