"Actually, I had another thing planned for that night and I... Oh, there's going to be food? I'll be there with bells on!"

I'm a pro at saying no.

I grew up in a family full of people who suck at it. They don't want to offend, inconvenience, or disappoint anyone. Instead they frustrate, inconvenience, and deprive themselves. I've watched people around them continue to take advantage, ultimately resulting in all sorts of weird frenemy-type relationships that aren't satisfactory to anyone.

So I resolved a long time ago to stay the hell out of that kind of cycle. If the benefits of saying yes to someone or something don't outweigh the negatives, forget it. No regrets.

So what can't I say no to?

Free food.

I used to be a sucker for free shit of all types. If somebody offered it, I would take it in hopes that I might someday be able to use it. But I got over that pretty quick after having to move a few times (once with no help). Nothing makes you evaluate your attachment to your possessions like being faced with the task of physically carrying them from place to place. I still collect far too much stuff in the hopes that it'll be useful in an art project some day, but otherwise I'm getting a lot better at paring down how much clutter I accumulate.

But food? Diet aside, how the hell can you turn down free food? Even if I'm not real keen on spending a meal with somebody, I'll make an exception if it means not having to spend money on food. It doesn't matter how annoyed I am at my parents or what they're serving, if they offer to feed me I'm there.

If I find out-of-date food at work that's going to be thrown out, I'll bring it home. It's not like food magically goes rancid the day after the date on the package.

But hey, what could possibly be wrong with being a food mooch? It's not like I show up on anyone's doorstep begging for a meal. Okay, sometimes at my parents' house I do.