A joke...

...from the old archives, just for fun:

A preacher was walking down an forest path one beautiful Sunday afternoon, on his way home after having delivered to his congregation what he thought might have been his best sermon ever that morning. Lost in pleasant thoughts of how pleased God must have been with his powerful message and touching oration, he failed to note the hungry bear sneaking up on him through the bushes until it was too late.

The preacher heard a rumbling growl, turned in suprise, and looked the bear straight in the eyes! Terrified, he began to run as fast as his legs would carry him! He ran and ran until he thought his legs would collapse, thinking surely he would be able to out-run the bear, but when he dared to look around, he saw the bear only two steps behind.

Oh, please,God! he prayed sincerely, I must have delivered my finest sermon in your name this morning. I must have brought many souls to the gates of heavenly salvation. Surely youll help me get away from this bear! And he ran, more quickly than before, confident that the Lord would help him out-distance the bear.

Soon his breath was rasping in and out of his lungs, and his legs were trembling uncontrollably with his mighty effort. He slowed a bit and glanced behind him; the bear was now only one step behind.

Please,Lord! he prayed fervently, I know you cant mean for this bear to kill me! Please, please, please let me get away from this bear! And on he ran, pushing himself to the edge of his strenghth and endurance, positive that the good Lord would come to his rescue.

But it was not to be. The preachers heart was now pounding, his lungs felt like they were bursting, and his legs suddenly refused to hold him upright. He fell to his knees on the forest path, fearing his imminent death.

Oh please, God, he prayed frantically, I cant run any more. I dont know why you wouldnt help me get away from this bear after I delivered such a wonderful sermon this morning, but cant you at least make this bear a good Christian bear? I dont want to die! Not daring to hope that the Lord would actually answer this prayer, the preacher bowed his head and waited for the inevitable. When the end did not come swiftly, he lifted his head in surprise, only to find to his stunned amazement that the bear was also kneeling on the path, paws folded, head bowed, praying,

I thank you, Lord, for this fine meal I am about to devour...