Pete Moss, lava fish, and catching Lance with cookie bait

A few random funny stories:

1. So, Kourt and I were just lounging around being goofy, and she noticed the little scar I have on my wrist. Of course, she asked what it was, so I explained how I was on a trip with my daycare back in, like, third grade and we were wading in this little stream at a park and I ignored the rule that we were supposed to keep our sandals on at all times when we were in the water. So I slipped on some moss and fell forward and, of course, reached to catch myself and cut myself on a rock. Had to have four stitches.

Anyway, so I said "slipped on some moss" and Kourt says, "Kate Moss? Or Pete Moss? Her brother? Wait, is there a Pete Moss?"

"Well, there's PEAT moss. Like for planting."

"I knew it sounded familiar."

2. A co-worker of mine was telling us tonight about a friend of his. I'm pretty sure she must be blonde, since she called him out of the blue to ask him...

"Do fish live in lava?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, so-and-so was telling me about how there's lava lakes, and I wondered if there's fish in them."

"It's lava. Like molten magma from inside the earth."

"So no fish?"

"No fish."

"Oh. Well, we were playing Mario Kart and there were fish jumping out of the lava."

True story, folks.

3. So, back to Kourt and I lounging around and being silly. I was joking about the above story regarding lava fish.

Kourt: What kind of fish live in lava?

Jaye: Granite fish. Granite bass.

Kourt: Really?

Jaye: Yeah, there's also limestone bass, but they're not as durable. And then there's marble bass.

Kourt: Do they swim upstream and spawn?

Jaye: No, those are granite salmon.

Kourt: What do bass do?

Jaye: Get caught by bass fisherman.

Kourt: Lance Bass fisherman?

Jaye: Yeah.

Kourt: (Imitating Lance) "Ooh, a cookie! AAAHH! AAAHH!!"